How I Perceive Me vs. How You Perceive Me
19/01/2026: This post is from an old blog that I'm bringing along for archive purposes.
The "new friend" is no longer a friend: as I started to perceive more of his real self I realised that I didn't like what I saw. Neither did a number of others.
I was talking to a new friend recently who mentioned in passing that people often perceive themselves differently to how others perceive them.
I perceive myself as a shy and quiet individual with little confidence who’s learnt how to put themselves out into the world over the years. I can push myself to walk into a group of strangers and socialise, chat away with people I don’t yet know, or deliver a decent presentation when required. I’ll maintain an constant sense of uncomfortableness, but I can do it.
However the people I interact with don’t see that internal struggle - they only see the exterior I put out.
Their perception of me is based on the behaviour I put out to the world. I know that that exterior is also me, but that exterior stops them seeing inside to how I perceive myself. It almost feels like a learnt behaviour, a form of protective layer.
Maybe this is what friendship is all about: letting people inside that protective layer. To allow someone to better perceive your real self. Though I suppose there will always be a difference of perception. No one can ever know me as well as I know myself, can they? Even if they know me better than I myself do, their perception is still different.