Not Going
I played netball tonight, we often go to the pub after the game. This week I didn't fancy it - so I didn't go!
This may seem like the obvious choice but it wasn't easy for me to actually say no. I know going to the pub is fun and I'll have a great time; the people are lovely and we always have a blast. There's definitely a sense of FOMO if I don't go but honesty I just enjoy it, so why not just go?
The thing is, I knew what I wanted to actually do, wanted and needed to do: spend time at home to chill out on my own. But I'm very good at not aligning my actions and choices with that known need inside me.
I often get this. I choose to do something that doesn't align with what I actually want. I choose to do the thing because I enjoy the thing, it's active and engaging and all these other reasons. Those reasons all ignore that need inside me; I run from it, and it ends up leading towards burnout.
I noticed it this time and I didn't follow. This is a start.
Sidenote: my girlfriend and friends very amicably joked that I was being boring by not going. I think there's some reflection on modern society in that and these feelings of mine but I haven't quite dug into that thought yet.