How I Perceive Me vs. How You Perceive Me

I was talking to a new friend recently who mentioned in passing that people (often) perceive themselves differently to how others perceive them.

I perceive myself as a shy and quiet individual with little confidence who’s learnt how to put themselves out into the world over the years. I can push myself to walk into a group of strangers and socialise; chat away with people I don’t yet know; and I can deliver decent a presentation when required. I’ll maintain an constant sense of uncomfortableness, but I can do it.

However, the people who I interact with don’t see that internal struggle - they only see the exterior I put out.

Their perception of me is based on the behaviour I put out to the world. I know that that exterior is also me, but that exterior stops them seeing inside to how I perceive myself. It almost feels like a learnt behaviour, a form of protective layer.

Maybe this is what friendship is all about: letting people inside that protective layer. To allow someone to better perceive your real self. Though I suppose there will always be a difference of perception. No one can ever know me as well as I know myself, can they? Even if they know me better than I myself do, their perception is still different.